| Anybody home? |
[27 Apr 2007|11:50pm] |
So I got out of the habit of posting my weekly weigh-ins, largely (and this is an absurd reason, I know, but it's the only one I've got) because I was annoyed that TickerFactory had changed their formatting. Dynamic updating might be okay for some people, but I like knowing the information in my old posts will remain accurate for that particular point in time.
But I just went back, and they've added a history function, and a graph:
And no, I'm not terribly thrilled with the complete lack of progress it shows, but at least all the data is there.
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| Project One Year : again? |
[01 Jan 2007|03:41am] |
I started this community last year as part of a contest and column I've been writing for the newspaper I work for. Somewhere along the way, I began to fail and stopped posting. Kinda' hard to give any guidance to others when you are failing miserably!
Anyway, if people are interested in starting this again for the new year, feel free to post here and spread the word and let's see if we can get this community going.
Here is the last column I wrote for last year's contest.
Project One Year : losing is the hardest part.
Current weight: 342
Weight on Dec. 17th: 343
Weight lost: 1 pound
Starting weight: 351
Left to lose: 91 pounds
“Being fat is never feeling comfortable with yourself...Being fat is not wanting to eat in front of people…Being fat is hiding your body under a jacket in the
middle of summer throughout your high school years…Being fat is being told by your doctor that you will die if you don’t change your habits.”
Those are the words which I wrote when I began this journey one year ago. I found myself reading them again this week as I contemplated the monumental failure called Project One Year. I have lost a lot in the one year that has followed:
I lost my keys more times than I care to admit.
I lost my wallet an almost equal number of times.
I lost my patience driving on Palm Coast Parkway even more.
I lost pets.
I lost loved ones.
I lost a lot of things… other than weight.
Oh yeah, I also lost a trip to the Bahamas (which was the prize being offered by our Publisher, Eric Gayton, if I were able to lose 100 pounds.)
I was so full of optimism last year. Back then, one year seemed like such a long stretch. How could I possibly fail? I have a whole year! Funny how quickly a year can fly by while you are busy doing other things. The best of intentions lost in the everyday business of life. Time I once devoted to working out became occupied by other things. Work mostly, but other obligations became obstacles, too - friends, family, and all the other things that you just have to do.
In the end, though, I realize it all comes down to me. I didn’t make the time to do what I needed to do. Each day, week and month that went by, I found myself telling myself the same lie -- I’ll try harder the next day, week or month. Before I knew it, I was out of time.
With that comes a new realization. That’s how I’ve lived my whole life. Putting things off until a later date.
When I was a chubby teenager, time seemed to stretch out infinitely. The future was some far off distant object which couldn’t come soon enough. Then, during my 20‘s, I as convinced that things will change. Now, halfway through my thirties, I am saying the same things. Tomorrow always looks so full of possibility. I’m young-ish, there’s still plenty of time.
Only there isn’t.
As this year has proven, time runs out before you know it. Will I be facing this weight problem in my 40’s, telling myself the same lies over and over? If so, I can be certain that my days will be numbered due to some health related malady.
There is an oft-used quote attributed to several authors, including John Lennon, which says, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
In other words, no matter what you plan on doing, life is made up of the actions you choose to do.
It’s that simple.
And that difficult.
The past year of exposing my weaknesses every other week to thousands of readers has been a… weird experience. I don’t know what else to call it, other than “weird.” I was surprised by the variety of people that emailed, called and approached me to wish me well, offer advice, or even an insult. I’m honored that so many of you would take the time to read or care about what some fat guy has to say even though for a while it appeared as if I got my goals confused and was trying to GAIN 100 pounds.
My boss has not repeated the offer this year so the only Project One Year for 2007 will be the one I fight privately where the only prize will be my health.
I’m not giving up, though. I can’t. Not after I’ve lost a whole nine pounds!
All joking aside, as of January 1st I’m starting over with renewed commitment. A year behind, but a year wiser of what didn’t work, and hopefully what I need to do to finally lose 100 pounds. This battle is far from over.
Thank you, readers, for letting me enter your homes, workplaces, cars, bathrooms, or wherever you read this. I hope, even in failure, to have helped someone -- even if that help is only providing the knowledge to those sharing my battle that you are not alone in this fight.
Here’s to the next year!
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| Intro post |
[31 Dec 2006|07:10pm] |
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I found this community via a friend who I found via a community...ha ha, what a link.
Anywho, I've been on a weight loss journey since September of this year and have, as of my last meeting (I'm doing Weight Watchers) lost 20 lbs. I like the idea of this community because this will be my last year for a while where I will be able to actively lose weight. This is because my husband and I plan on starting our family as of January 2008. So anyway, I want to lose as much weight as possible this year to prepare my body for pregnancy.
My long term weight loss goal is 100lbs, which would make me 148.5. My goal for this year is to lose 40lbs, which would put me at a so much more healthy weight of 188.5. Ambitiously I admit I would ideally like to lose 60lbs in 2007, which would put me squarely at 168.5 at a loss of and be a loss of about 30% of my original body weight. I'm trying to not obsess too much about numbers although I admit I find comfort in them. After all, I lost 20lbs and did it rather healthy-like (I still lived, I still ate out, I still had chocolate, I just did much more moderation and basically stayed on plan) and I did it in about 4 months. On that same time scale, I should be able to lose another 20lbs by April and another 20 by August, and then another 20 by December, making my total loss 60lbs. Anyone else out there find comfort in the number crunching?
Anywho, I'm hoping to find like-minded individuals here, and share inspiration. This is the first time I've ever tried losing weight seriously. I've been overweight basically since I was a pre-teen. I love swapping recipes and talking about progress.
Anywho, hello!
Oh, and as for pictures, there's one on my icon.
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| A Year in Weight-loss |
[31 Dec 2006|08:03am] |
January 1, 2006
Weighed in that morning at 444 pounds.
December 31, 2006
Weighed in this morning at 414 pounds.
2006, 30 pounds gone
Not a bad dent in the weight-loss task at hand. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Even better is the fact that my highest weight ever was 462, so this year's weight-loss brings me to a grand total of 48 pounds lost.
It makes me anxious to see what 2007 will bring.
x-posted to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2) phreespirit, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif?v=92.2) projectoneyear, ww_users, _weightwatchers
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| A funny for Monday.... |
[18 Dec 2006|01:02pm] |
"Of course I watch what I eat!!!
I'd stab myself in the face with the fork, otherwise."
--originalmanley
In other news, guess who is NOT looking forward to weigh-in tonight?
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| whoa update! |
[14 Dec 2006|07:17am] |
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I have a new job right now. I get to run around all day long entertaining people. It's fun, but it's going to end in january and then I'll go back to my regular job. I am able to watch what I'm eating better now, for some reason. But I'm also crashing pretty hard. Must increase veggie intake. I'm biking to work today which is totally great! I'm down to 190. Which is great, and dangerous. I need to continue, not celebrate my little win. Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased, but I need to be inspired to continue, not rest.
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| Two-for-one tonight |
[04 Dec 2006|11:25pm] |
Monday, November 27th:
Monday, December 4th:
Yes, boys and girls, that was FIVE POUNDS OF WATER, gained and lost in one week. I realized it was water weight on Thursday, when I took off my MaryJane-style shoes after work and saw that the strap had left a divot in the top of my foot the depth of my index finger. Nonetheless, I was furious with my body for having chosen Thanksgiving week to bloat (I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE SECONDS, DAMNITALL!), and almost as irritated to see it all gone again this week. Perhaps even more irritating is the fact that the retention seems to be completely unrelated to my menstrual cycle; I'm not due for my next period until a week from Wednesday.
*handwaving* Okay, I appear to be fresh out of words (I just posted a completely different rant in my own journal - f'locked, sorry - and I think I used them all up there). Did anyone else survive the Deathmarch with Turkey?
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| seriously |
[13 Nov 2006|11:59am] |
Changes are good. Oddly enough, my weight was going up last week, and over the weekend- dispite drinking and a bit of party-food, I lost weight. I think it's the portion control thing. Even on sunday, I ordered some sweet and sour chicken (un-breaded), to soothe my hung-over tummy, and only ate 1/2 the order, and was totally fine with it! This is new for me. Especially when I'm feeling ookie. I walked a lot, played squash, but skipped running on friday and sunday. Friday was a good reason, Sunday was not. Eh, I'm doing okay. There's yoga in my future tonight.
I guess I'm still sorta puzzled as to why my weight is in flux right now.
Whatever.
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| just keep swimming |
[10 Nov 2006|10:25am] |
Okay! So! After careful analysis of the last two weeks where I lost 2.5 and gained 2 I have come to the conclusion that what I have been working on has had no effect on my actual weight yet. I need to keep up the low cal, daily movement for longer than what I've done so far to see any real weight loss. I have noted a fat loss, but a of yet, have no good way to measure fat percentage that will ignore muslce mass. ( I think I need a calibir of some kind) So I move onwards. I'm going to shoot for smaller dinners, seeing as I'm not really all that hungry anyhow, it should be easyish. And Bigger breakfasts. I feel better when i have eggs and oatmeal.
So let's push on.
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| Keeping my cool |
[09 Nov 2006|09:46am] |
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So I was all excited that I was losing weight and now i've put back on 1.5 pounds. I'm not going off the deep end, but I am concerned. The change in direction could be:
a) water loss and gain
b) muslce gain
or
c) I've not been waking up to do yoga this week. It could be more beneficial than I thought.
So I'm going to wake up early tomorrow and do it.
I will find success.
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| 1 week |
[07 Nov 2006|09:29am] |
<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/3;10301;2;0;0/c/-2.5/t/-36/k/1598/weight.png"></a>
(*deep breath*)
I think it was last friday i got on the scale and I was 193.5. Yesterday I got on the scale and was at 194.5. Today I got on the scale and was 193.5. perhaps my water is in flux? In any case it's less than oct 30th's usual 196 mark.
I've been working on imagining what it's going to be like when I lose my excess weight. What I'm going to look like, feel like, and be able to do. It's so very hard. I think it's difficult because I have never really truly believed I could do it. Or perhaps was filled with such hopelessness that I thought it was a futile excercise. I still can't quite grasp it mentally- but I'm almost there. If we assume I lose 1 pound a week, nice and healthy-like, then by the end of the month I'll be at 190. I've been at 190 before, it's when my face starts looking thinner- specifically my almost double chin flattens out, and people start noticing. I get lots of compliments and comments. It feels good. It has been place where I feel I can stop. I get the postive reinforcement, and then I'm satisfied. nope, not this time, this time I'm going to go further and amaze myself. By the 1st of the year I'll be at 185. Which is comfortable bikini-wearing weight. Showing off the midddle is okay, It's not flat, it's fluffy, but yummy. I haven't been there since college 6 years ago. The difference between this 185 and the last 185, is that I'll be stronger. At that point I'll be running 3 miles with ease, and have my flexibility back. In Febrary I'll be 180. this will be bizzare for me. I'm sure people will tell me I look great, and that I won't need to lose anymore weight. And I may not need --- I'm not sure. So much of my weight is muscle mass and bone. I'm not tall, I have thick bones, and huge muscles. When I get between 185, and 180, it will be time to switch over to body fat percentage.
For now, I need to focus on getting through the end of this week and month. Thanksgiving is coming up. Which, actually, won't be so bad 'cause we have a guest coming who is vegan. This will throw all our family's traditions out the window. Which is great. Also, I've gotten very very careful about the gluten and lactose intolerances, and (and feel much better) will be cooking a lot of my own foods. More control over that. This is the year Dana got her healthy back.
I still fear I'm wrong, that this is just another phase, like we've seen so many times before. But gad damn!
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| Tonight's weigh-in |
[06 Nov 2006|11:43pm] |
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Yes, I gained. But so did almost everyone else in the chapter - our "best loser" for the week dropped a whopping quarter-pound. (I really wasn't surprised by this; the past week was one of the sort Margaret Cho described in one of her shows as being so very good out in public...and then coming home and eating the couch.)
The unofficial theme for the evening was "Better Late Than Never." murphymom and I finally got to give the program we've been sitting on for three weeks; we ad-libbed for a few minutes on the subject of Non-Food Rewards, then handed out a word-search puzzle and gave everyone five minutes to find as many words as possible. Our winner, who got 15 out of 24 (hell, I'd seen the thing already, and even I only managed 17), was given a preview-sized bottle of Bath and Body Works' Twisted Peppermint Three-In-One, and he loved it. Everybody loved it - they were all sitting in the meeting room 15 minutes after we officially adjourned, still trying to find the rest of the words in the puzzle. So we scored big with this, as we had both hoped and expected - this was the first time the weekly program had been fun since we came back two months ago.
We also took some photos tonight, Mom mostly for her eHarmony profile, and me because neither of us had a photo taken at our first meeting (which is supposed to be part and parcel of the application process - how are they going to see how much different you look if they don't have a point of reference?).
( Back here, for the curious )
(crossposted to my journal and projectoneyear)
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| new habits |
[06 Nov 2006|08:33am] |
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Okay, so I made it. I didn't give in. I listened to my new guided meditation album, journaled, took a long bath and read a book, and when my husband came home, we talked about it. I knew i wasn't hungry, I just wasn't full.
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| What do I do? |
[05 Nov 2006|08:23pm] |
I have the need for comfort. What do I do? I've had a stressful day, and I am home alone, and I have nothing--- I feel like Ihave nothing to comfort me. I amfeeling weak. I listened to my new guided meditation cd, and I realize, that usually when I feel sorta down, sorta worn out, sorta in the need of a rewarding comfort thing, I eat. So what do I do now that I don't do that anymore.
take a bath is the first thing that comes to mind.
call my friend is the second- I don't like this one.
um... read? - no. paint? Yeah, that's more like work. Play guitar? am I just coming up with excuses not to do things?
I take my leave now, to draw a bath and read about how to take care of my soon arriving greyhound. It's going to be okay. I can do this.
last time I weighed myself i was at 193.5 down from 195 down from my usual 196. I can do this.
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| Keep on going! |
[03 Nov 2006|08:53am] |
As freaky as it is, I think the hypnosis really worked. I keep forgetting to eat my snacks, and yesterday at dinner I didn't finish everything on my plate. I got on the scale this morning and I'm at 195. Last time I checked i was at 196. I'll take it. I've been stretching more, playing squash more... yoga and strength training. I'm in a real power swing, and you know that anxiety I was feeling when I would eat a small meal, and then not eat for a long time, It's totally settled down. (yes maybe you didn't know about it, 'cause I am not sure I knew about it until it decreased). It's still hard, and my muscles ache, and my job is boring, I'm just coping with it better.
I don't have to do more, I just have to continue on what I'm doing. 3x/wk cardio, as much daily morning yoga or strength as I can muster, smaller meals, and drink teas. I'm still drinking enough water as well. I feel good, I feel like I look good. (i'm pretty sure I'm having that, decreased fat, increased muscle thingy-which is frustrating 'cause I feel my waistline shrink, but my overall weight doesn't. It just means that how much I weigh is not going to show me how I'm doing)
And besides, the point is not how many pounds I will lose, the point is how I feel, what i'm able to do, and how i feel in my clothes.
(side note: Yes I am skeptical of this power swing, but this one feels different. I don't feel like I'm swinging, I feel like I have tools to better cope with my old habits. I have had two mental breakdowns and break throughs. I can no longer say that I'm lonely, 'cause truth be told, I can't stand being around people all the time, and I enjoy my solitude. I was just using that as an excuse. )
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| couch to marathon? |
[01 Nov 2006|03:42pm] |
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Who was it that had info about going from couch potato to runner?
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| Chicken |
[01 Nov 2006|09:46am] |
and in other news, on the way home I saw all sortsa halloween kids walking around, so I picked up 2 bags of candy, and put them in the front basket, and no one rang our bell. I'll be bringing the candy to work for sure. Or maybe dropping it off at the brown elephant instead...
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| Monday, Monday.... |
[30 Oct 2006|10:34pm] |
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mood |
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No change this week, but after paying no attention to healthy eating habits whatsoever this weekend while I was on vacation, I'm completely satisfied with that. murphymom and I had our presentation put off yet again, though it had nothing to do with the fact that we were the ones giving it (the room we meet in had a second booking coming in after us, which isn't normally the case, so we had an abbreviated meeting). People still don't appear to be getting it regarding the holiday competition, even after Mom said "I emailed the area captain, and it's not supposed to be mandatory." (I actually had the chance to look at the competition chart tonight; it quite clearly says "members should individually commit to the contest and sign a pledge to that effect." I asked where the pledge was, and the person who has been pushing this said "It should be within yourself." WTF, did you even read this?) Mom's still waiting to hear back from the area captain & coordinator regarding the other points in her letter; it will be interesting to see what comes of it.
The good news is I didn't get any pushback from anyone regarding the new printouts I made after the last meeting; when I handed back the new phone list to the person I got the old one from, she was excited to see someone take that kind of initiative. (I emailed a copy of it to B when I finished it, and had been slightly miffed not to get a reply, but I learned this week that the email account he has listed is actually his wife's, which mollified me somewhat.)
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....
(posted to my journal and projectoneyear)
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| habits |
[27 Oct 2006|10:25am] |
sigh. fat free low cal strawberry yogurt, just isn't all that great. that fakey sugar tastes so chemical-y. I would rather eat fat free sugar free plain yogurt than this stuff. Throw some almonds in there, and blammo: perfect snack.
So how am I doin'? okay. Not fantastic, but okay. I had some spillage this week. I let the stress get to me and did some emotional eating. I recovered pretty well, so at least this won't turn into a two week deal. I will dispose of the evil snacks, specifically the sour cream, or ask my husband to take care of it for me.
Must keep my cool.
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